Men are socialized to believe that the less shit they put up with, the stronger they are.
Women are socialized to believe that the more shit they put up with, the stronger they are.
Can’t society see how problematic this is? After 7+ years of being bullied I finally realized on an individual level how problematic this construct is. No matter how “strong” a woman is, she is the victim as long as her endurance is her mark of strength. While men get to go about and be as harsh as they want with their surroundings without being judged because that is their strength. Hey, that dude is badass - he doesn’t put up with any shit! But that girl that also doesn’t put up with any shit? She’s a bitch.
“Suck it up and deal with it” is basically a part of my bone structure. I’ve had to train myself not to smile at people who call out street harassment at me. For all that I appear not to care what people think, I find it physically difficult to respond to utter crap with anything but politeness. Even mild and civil confrontations still make me shake.
Over these past two years, I’ve (slowly and painfully) begun to learn to stand up for myself. A lot of people act like I’m oversensitive or “crazy” or mean or weak for it and it really doesn’t help.
I have always associated my strength with my ability to put up with too much work, very little sleep, a lot of disrespect from people, not a lot of money, and so on. I am trying to find other ways to value myself but damn I am bad at it and yeah, I can relate to this.
And sometimes when people ask for commissions it turns into raptors going over the Niagara Falls in a barrel. WELP.
Reblogging this just because it is AWESOME (as is the artist who made it and the person who commissioned it, just sayin’).
Don McPherson, former NFL quarterback, feminist and educator (via spikyhairjon)
it really even isn’t that hard—expressing masculinity without contributing to women being second-class citizens is completely possible. what are we afraid of?
At this point, I just have to add a link to the Onion: Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real Life Man Arrested.
here is when liking something problematic (tv show, movie, book, real person, ship, etc) is a problem:
- when the person who likes said thing is unaware it is problematic
- when the person who likes said thing is aware it is problematic, and:
- makes excuses for its shitty views/problematic things
- completely disregards what is wrong with it
- dismisses legitimate criticism from offended groups with “you’re taking this too seriously’ or any other flippant argument
- tries to justify why the problematic things occur (ie, “there were no people of colour in europe in such and such time!” or “well this person did a lot of good, so it doesn’t matter that they held this problematic and destructive view!”)
here is when liking something problematic is not a problem:
- when the person who likes said thing is aware, knowledgeable, and accepts the fact that the thing is problematic
- when the person agrees with legitimate criticism, does not make excuses for the problematic aspects, and does not view them apologetically
- when the person makes those criticisms themselves
- when there is no justification for why the problematic aspects occur, but rather acceptance and trying to recover what is still positive/what can still happen in order to make up for the problematic thing
- when a person likes other aspects of the thing, but not the problematic material
you can like something problematic without perpetuating or supporting what is wrong with it; furthermore, virtually EVERYTHING has a problematic element to it
Not only is it a terrible book it misrepresents the BDSM lifestyle and romanticizes rape, stalking, and sexual manipulation.
fucking signal boost
Boosting like a boss
Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
[…]Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
[…]Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
[…]Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.”